Every year, the Topps team is tasked with coming up with relic die cuts to use for the triple threads set. Back when the set was first done, they used some pretty obvious ones like team names and prominent stats. After 10 years, however, its clear that there are only so many things that you can carve into the front of a trading card. Of course, rather than ditch the idea, like it should have been years ago, they borderline troll people with how stupid the lame plays on words can be.
Every year, one of my favorite posts to write is the one that gets to gawk at the stupidity they come up with. Here are the best of the worst for 2015.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Bryce Harper Triple Relic Auto 1/1 – Easily the worst of this year. I am guessing that it is because he is young and hits a lot of home runs, but I have no fucking clue.
2015 Triple Threads Prince Fielder Triple Relic – What the hell is this about? Is he always complaining about being a victim or something? Good god.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Cliff Floyd Auto Triple Relic – I get that Floyd was a big dude, but still, not the thing I would use to commemorate this player’s career.
2015 Triple Threads Daniel Nava Triple Relic Auto – Oh no I dont what? Buy this card? Buy this product? Hit more than .230 in any major league season? All of the above.
2015 Triple Threads Buster Posey Triple Relic Auto – These lame puns are beyond terrible. Each year they seem to get worse.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Wily Peralta Triple Relic Auto – Why are they making a card of this guy if the only adjective to describe him is “Quality.” Its almost an insult.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Luis Gonzalez Triple Relic Auto – Isnt it Louie, Louie? Either way its a terrible play on his name.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Robin Yount Triple Relic – Of all the things one can say about Yount, this is one that I would probably not use.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Craig Kimbrel Triple Relic – Oh good god this is bad. Why is he the new K-Rod? Francisco Rodriguez has nothing to do with Kimbrel from what I can see. Maybe they both were save leaders?
2015 Topps Triple Threads Chris Sale Auto Triple Relic – Terrible play on his name, only outdone by…
2015 Topps Triple Threads Matt Holiday Triple Relic – Of all the awful puns, this is the most obvious. Yup they went there.
2015 Topps Triple Threads Clay Buccholz Triple Relic – WTF? I dont even have an inkling of what this means.
Guys, even if you can figure some of these out by googling them, or just by looking up “dad joke” on Urban Dictionary, it has been years since the last time these were even creative, and even longer since they were cool. I have never bought a box of Triple Threads, and stupid shit like this is one of the main reasons.