Do They Really Think We Are THAT Stupid?

Mario posted some more images from Triple Threads to “convince” us that this will be an amazing product. When I first gazed upon the “glory,” every single bone in my body lurched with a burning urge to barf through my eyes. Thanks to these wonderful new images, I am now convinced that this will be the worst product of 2009, that is, until Topps Sterling comes out.

Here is more proof of how ugly triple threads will be. Imagine this card on bright red rainbow foilboard, exactly the way it will come.

First, try to read what it says, second try to find out which player its for, third, try to find the player among the “relics” plastered across this card. Its really fucking scary to think that people love this shit as much as Donini loves Beckett.

Wait, you still arent convinced?

Okay, burn your eyes out with this:

What the fuck? Is this Topps Triple Threads of the Knights of the Round Table? Again, im not sure why people think that spelling out David Ortiz’s former last name in diecut shields is attractive. I know when I think about a cool card, I want a card featuring a shrunken picture of the player in order to stuff five die cut windows and a huge foil sticker onto the card. Oh, great, Im so glad they got a small banner in there with the player’s name on it.

I sincerely hope that none of you out there are going to be buying any of this.

Prestige Chrome Hits eBay, Leaves Me Wondering Who Designed It

Well, we have a few preliminary cards up on eBay from Donini’s recent offering of Elite, or as I call it, Prestige Chrome. See, Prestige was a gross product this year, an abortion of weirdly placed swatches and stupid concepts all for a price that wouldnt hold even if every card was numbered under 50. Elite, built on pretty much the EXACT same idea, is really just Prestige on foilboard. You know, I never get why foilboard is such a favorite of DLP. I used to think it was cool (ooooh, shiny!), now I think its lame and played out.

I am about clean and practical designs. Elite’s staples, the RCs and base, are busy and ugly. What? What is that you say? Is Knowshon running into an operating Tesla Coil and causing an explosion? Is there some sort of electrical storm? Is he time travelling? He must be lightning quick, if you catch my drift.

Here is a great suggestion for Donini, take a look at the foilboard Topps uses for Chrome and Finest and find out what they do differently than this crap. That way, it wont look fucking ridiculous, there will be less chipping and damage when pack pulled, and I dont have to look at my ugly mug everytime I admire the card.

I will say this, the PTT autos look a little better than last year with both players now on the same side of the card, but they should have taken a page from UD and not released 5 billion parallels of the card WITHOUT autos and then one parallel with the auto /25. I can never understand why companies do that.

I am not going to be buying a product with one, yes ONE, redeeming subset in it. Ill wait for Classics to get my Donini fix for the year. I did say year, that was not a typo.

First Look: 2009 Playoff Absolute Football

Here we have the first huge preview of 2009, a favorite of mine, Absolute Memorabilia football. The problem I have with this set, now, is that it has not changed since 2007. The cards look practically dead on as the ones last year. See, normally, I would be pretty excited with this set, but the cards are so similar, its almost like its an updated checklist to last year’s cards. Now, I know that DLP has gone through some major overhauls since becoming Donini, but at least put some effort into it. Jesus.

The cards that did receive some new designs are just polygonic traffic jams on ridiculously busy cards. Everything is tough to focus on, and you can bet that Donini is going to feel some heat after their products flop miserably with no new effort.

As if to rub salt in this wound, they are CONTINUING the use of event used footballs. Wonderful, glad to see that they havent heard the cries of the many people out there. Even UD stopped using the footballs in their SPX product. Save it for retail, not a 120 per box product. Gross. I may buy some singles from this product, but the overall presentation has left an awful taste in my mouth.


I LOLed.

This was great from the Beckett douches: “We’re not going to tell you what we had to do to get it, but we’ve managed to procure a box of 2009 Donruss Elite Football almost a full week before its official release date.” Im guessing it went a little something like this:

Donini Brand Manager: Hello you got the big guy, talk.
Hackler: Hey baby, how YOU doin?
DBM: Oh, hi, didn’t realize it was you! Im doing great!
Hacker: So, I was wondering if I could come over later, grab a few boxes of Elite, and maybe help you “relax.”
DBM: God, I love when you do that. Id give you a case for your talents.
Hackler: I only have eyes for you Donini, ill be over later, light some candles.
DBM: Oh, almost forgot. Remember the deal. You LOVE this product, and we continue to help you scoop the misinformed cesspools.
Hackler: Wont be a problem.

Well, since Donini loves Beckett like a fat kid love cake, they got a box of Prestige Chrome a full week ahead of time. They may not have pulled anything, as this was obviously NOT a hand seeded product, but you can bet this solidifies that I am going to have a very hard time supporting Donini products this year. Either way, it shouldn’t be too hard if the cards look as shitty as they did in this video.

You can already see the poorly constructed cards with the Maroney being ass backwards with a swatch in no man’s land. Plus, the weird ghost starburst looked ridicu-stupid on the base cards, im not sure who thought that looked good. So far, Ill be passing on this product faster than Donini can say “I heart Beckett.”


These are School Colors autos to be inserted in 2009 Donruss Classics.

This example is why you do not use silver pens to do on card autos. These look like in person signatures done by a fan, rather than on card autos from a manufacturer. Listen, I love the fact that on card signatures are coming back, but holy fuck, who green-lighted the paint pens? Staedtler makes all sorts of great pens to use in this situation, there was no reason to use the big behemoths to get these signed like TTMs.

Bad form Donini, bad form.