I am … a Joe Collector.

I value relics and stickers over design and concept.
I bust products because Beckett has them on the hot list.

I post every pack on a message board.

I videotape my maildays.

I harass people on youtube.

I live for last pack MOJO, and you will hear me scream it.

I let the price guide rule my trades.

I am Topps Triple Threads.

Well, this might as well be what they had posted.

You Might Be A Joe Collector If…

I was flipping through channels last night and saw a repeat of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, so I had to watch a few minutes. Here is my response via Twitter:

– If the number of mailday posts you make out numbers the meals you’ve eaten that day, you might be a Joe Collector.

– If you have jerry-rigged a case not meant for sports cards to hold your triple threads fold outs, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you have an auto-correct set up to add ten exclamation points for every single one you write, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you have created certified sticker labels to add a signature your girlfriend’s birthday cards you might be a Joe Collector

– If posting bash comments on youtube is the only way you can get sexually aroused, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you scream “MOJO!!!” each time you get a Christmas bonus at work, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you have used Wikipedia to look up a stat cut out in a Topps Sterling card you just bought, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you failed a test at school because you described Bowman Chrome in a essay question about refracted light, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you re-printed your high school diploma on rainbow foil board to make it look better, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you have memorized the book value for every card of a player that has yet to play a single game, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you asked “what’d you pull?” when your mother tells you she is SICK, you might be a Joe Collector

– If you know how to say MOJO!! in more than three languages, you might be a Joe Collector

From Jstarz34630 – If you spent more on Topps Triple Threads 1/1s than you did on your rent for the month, you might be a Joe Collector

From FCBSportscards – If you scurry to ebay to check your watch list every time you walk in the front door, you might be a Joe Collector

From Reggie – If you named your kid Joba Gold Refractor to commemorate your best pull, you might be a Joe Collector

From Houcollector – HOUCollector If you were addicted to Power Puff Girls because you thought they collected cards of Jojo, you might be a Joe Collector

From Cardsnwine – If can’t find your desk because of too many bubble mailers going out on trades, you might be a Joe Collector http://bit.ly/2KIPeM wow on that one.

For more, the hash tag is #youmightbeajoecollector on Twitter, or follow SCUncensored.

Some People Are Too Stupid For Words…

Every once in a while you see something on eBay and you just know the story behind it without even reading what happened. Most of those times, you can see the stupidity shining through like a beacon, especially when it’s a card like this one:

Here is the story of the card, as told by me.

One day, Senor Jose Collectadora was on ebay and saw some SICK MOJO CARDZ!!! posted for his favorite player Tony Romo. He immediately hit the 19.99 buy it now because he knew he was getting a MAJOR STEAL!!!!! on a Romo NFL logo patch 1/1 that usually sells for hundreds. When he got it, he picked it up only by the edges because he knew he had to send it in for grading and didn’t want it to be messed up in any way. Fingerprints are BAAAAADDD. Of course, before he sent it in, he made sure to check his bible to see the book value for when he posts it on the message boards for his “daily steelz thread!!!!!!!!!!!”

Upon seeing that 1/1s were “too scarce to price” he began to think he had more SICK MOJO than he thought he had before! This could be a card worth thousands of dollars! He posts his steal on the board, and people laugh him off the page. When he sees the laughs, he starts to see a little bit of the stupidity behind his purchase. He pulls up the auction and sees that in the description, its listed as a custom card and is not real in any way. Jose doesn’t care, and posts it on eBay thinking that he can get someone else to fall for the plan. I mean, he cant stand being made fun of, and this is the way to make him feel better.

Nice job Jose, some day you will get exactly what you deserve. Fucking idiot.

H/T Joseph

Designing A Winner

I have said on many occasions that the design of the card can make or break a product, more-so to me than any other element of the card. To me, it could be a 1/1 NFL logo Adrian Peterson autograph, and I would pass if it looked like a piece of shit. Personally, I think card design has become a lost art, and that companies, especially Topps, have focused more on how they will pack more autos into a set than more well designed cards.

Look at Triple Threads, my all time most hated product. It is packed with cards literally packed with jerseys and autos, and I think it is the worst possible thing you can invest in. I have not bought a single Triple Threads single in the last few years, and most of it stems from the ridiculous designs and color schemes. To me, the sole purpose of the set is to give us as many low numbered cards with as many pieces of jerseys and autos as humanly possible. This means that things like design and photos of the players take a back seat to make the douchebags who don’t know any better jizz in their pants. Because of the jam packed set up of the cards, the product HAS to be considered high end, despite the fact that none of these cards are appealing to 90% of privileged portion of collectors who take pride in the way they look at the hobby. Those other 10% are die hard player collectors who live by a different creedo.

If it was up to me, I would always want better designs over more content. I love awesome looking cards, regardless of what company makes them. There are certain criteria I need to be true, like how I hate college jersey in the picture cards, but most of the time I base my want on how the card is put together. If a company uses sticker autos, but they are well done and well placed, it doesn’t matter to me. Look at SP Rookie Threads from this year, another set designed to pack as much into a product as possible. The difference between Triple Threads 2008 and SP Rookie Threads 2008 is that one set is well put together, nicely done with a cool theme, while the other focuses on all the wrong things, including printing plates with no player names and tiny player pictures.

SP Rookie Threads was designed around the look of a jersey. All the cards look like they have been sewn together like the numbers and tackle twill on a normal jersey, and I really appreciate the cool theme and idea for the set. Hell, they even made a set based on the NFL logo part of the jersey, which I thought was awesome. I bought the Peterson.

Look at Exquisite for this year, its done in an ornate and almost regal design, and the whole set follows suit in its picturesque glory. Exquisite also features more Jersey than Triple Threads in their RC Autos, and they still managed to fit in a large picture and a signature. Hell, the duals and triples were even done in a way that makes the Triple Threads ones look shameful. Large player picures and no die cut swatches to confusingly spell shit out. I love it.

If you want less high end examples, look at the way DLP did Classics the last few years, or even better, the way UD does SP Authentic EVERY year. For 100 dollars a box, UD has made Triple Threads and other poorly designed sets irrelevant. One other thing about sets like Classics and SP Rookie Threads is that they use sticker autos, but use them in a way that makes them not as noticible. Topps thinks they need to destroy the look of every card with GIANT foil stickers, or even the transparent, but not transparent foil stickers. Yes, they still stick out even when they are supposed to be clear.

Recently, Topps has put out a product that was solely designed to dump their entire store room of basketball stickers into a set before Panini takes over. This means that the set was actually somewhat necessary to utilize thousands of ugly foil stickers in the stockroom, but it is no excuse for the result. Now, we all know how much I fucking despise Topps’ design moves over the last few years, and this set is no exception. Because it was so quickly put together, you can expect that the design would suffer, but jesus, the set is fugly as hell. Add in the fact that each card is numbered to 9000, and you have a donkey turd on your hands.

The one thing that the nostalgic focused modern haters have right is that design used to be better. I agree 100%. However, I do think you can have the content that each product MUST have to survive and also the design to appease the people like me. I have seen the custom card designs out there, so I know it isnt impossible to design a nice set. Hopefully the manufacturers wont save the good stuff for the expensive sets exclusively, and will let it trickle down to the low end stuff too. When cards are designed with care, everyone wins. Take notice quickly, Topps.