Category Archives: donkey rapers

GAI Has Made A Deal With The Devil

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A few weeks ago, I posted on Kevin Burge and his fake Pujols Bowman Chrome Autos being shopped around and denied authentication by the big three. Unfortunately, after seeing some recent sales on his shoeless-joejackson account, it seems as though douchebag 1 himself has found a partner in crime. Per some unconfirmed inside sources, Global Authencators (GAI) has made a deal with Burge that allows him free reign over his slabs, in exchange for a lot of money that they are hurting for. I cant say if the context of my source is correct, but the end results speak for themselves:


These autographs are 100% fake, signed by Burge and his band of thieves. Though GAI may not be in direct cahoots with him, they are definitely enabling his criminal douchebaggery. Guys, Burge is as much of a devil as anyone in this hobby, and it scares me to think that he is gaining favor among those companies that are being destroyed by the economy. He has already made a small fortune on his criminal empire, and his money is something they need desperately. This only creates a huge problem for the uniformed people out there, especially those who trust shitty authenticators like GAI.
Here is a list of completed auctions from his Shoeless screen name, you can see its not just autos. He has also tried to do the perfect 10 thing too. If anyone knows how to get operation bullpen involved, this would be the place to start. I have Burge’s personal address from my sources if needed. We know eBay wont do anything, and its become obvious that Burge will find every crack he can to begin the flood of fakes into the market.
Watch your ass before Burge sticks his tiny dick in it.
EDIT: Here is a card that makes me lean towards them being in bed together. Its a Jay Bruce auto card that is authenticated with a fake Johnny Gomes signature. Not even the dumbest of authenticators would do something like that, especially with the facsimile auto right below it. EPIC FAIL.

The Fake Rookie Premiere Autos Have Not Gone Away

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Let me say this straight out. Just because I havent posted on the blatantly fake rookie premiere autos in a while, does not mean they have gone away. If anything, Burge and company have gotten better at them. Practice makes perfect right? Although there are still close to 200 of each card floating around with the bad, bad, horrible fake autos on them, the band of thieves has adapted a little to change it up.

Here is a recent fake:
Please tell me how someone with an untrained eye could pick that up as a fake. It looks 100 times better than the five year old with a crayon from before, and has now made it practically impossible to identify for a collector that doesnt know what they are doing.
Here is another (different seller), a quad:
I can say with 100% certainty that this is completely fake. However, the auto styles have changed slightly, and the Calvin Johnson sig almost looks passable. As for the Peterson, it looks exactly the same as the one above, and the Lynch is still ridiculous looking. The Ginn isnt bad, but it isnt good either.
Personally, I think its puzzling how these cards got into the hands of the sellers. Some have suggested that they get blues and wipe off the sigs to replace them with reds. Others are saying they are stolen from Topps, or that someone on the inside is passing them to the fakers. After seeing the Harvin I posted about before, it wouldnt surprise me either way.
Listen. Its pretty simple. If you are at all uncertain about the rookie premiere you are buying, DONT FUCKING BUY IT. Find one that looks good compared to others that are graded, and always let the doubt in your mind back you out of a sale. They prey on unsuspecting people, and from what has been circulating around the net, Burge has made a small fortune on these cards.
Lastly, if you have any questions, just email me at the link on the right. Ill be happy to help in any way I can.

Why Are People This Stupid?

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Kickstand forwarded me this auction of a fake SPA Peterson Viking head logo, and I am shocked for a few reasons. Obviously, there is not even a question that this card isnt real, and Kickstand even included the pic of the real card to prove it. Ill get to that in a second.

First, its almost like no one understands that the stiching on any Vikings NFL authentic jersey is not flat like it is in this patch. The Vikings heads have much different stitching, which most of the time can be determined simply by going on the NFL website. If you are going to spend 500 plus dollars on this card, why wouldnt you just go take a look? Its fucking ridiculous to me.
Second, and even more shocking, this fucking douchebag destroyed a three color patch card to create this abomination. If you look at the before pics, you can see why the actual real card will be worth MORE than the money he gets for the fake. For this I fucking laugh, because you know he is too dumb to buy a regular one color patch for his crime, and instead uses the most expensive one available. I dont think I have ever seen a douchebag fail so hard.
Lets all laugh with me as we report this assfuck.
(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Sometimes Its Just A Little TOO Obvious

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We all know that the fakes have spread to as far back as 2001 and as far forward to 2008. Im sure its only a matter of time before the 2009 fakes hit ebay, which is really too bad.

Here is a seller that doesnt really get how to sell these, especially when half of the entire Jonathan Stewart print run is in his store.
Im just curious when Topps will step in, if ever. This has become a very unfortunate situation.
h/t Bobby P.